What's In A Name Anyway (For Marges)

When I'm home alone I like to watch the Discovery Health Channel. I tend to get sucked into watching shows about babies being born--I can't explain it, the whole thing fascinates me. One night I was watching a series about afamily that had quintuplets and Marges commented on the fact that these people got to use all of the names they ever wanted to use in one blow...so that along with the upcoming birth of sobrino #10, has got me thinking about the name game.

My oldest sister is having a baby this summer and she and her husband are trying to decide on a name for the little one who will be joining the crew (we're all crossing our fingers for a girl because as far as mi sobrinos (that's Spanish for nieces and nephews for those of you non-bilingual readers) go the guys grossly outnumber the girls 7-2. Not to mention it's been a really long time since I was able to buy something tiny, pink and frilly for anyone.

She's started taking suggestions for baby names and I have to admit that I've contributed more than my fair share, though I have reserved some of the more particular names for myself in the eventuality of my marrying and bearing children...I'd like there to still be some good names left.

Now my two bits:

I understand that names are not copyrighted unless you're the artist formerly known as Prince or Madonna or any other famous one-name (or symbol) artist--like Cher, for example. But it can get a little confusing when you have two people in the family with the same name...So in an effort not to have more than one Ruby Jane in the immediate family I have decided not to offer up my most favorite names for general consumption...

Then there's the off chance that the name just doesn't fit and then what do you do??? You can't name your baby Owen (another name NOT up for grabs) in good faith he's just not an Owen, so it's probably good to have a few names on the back burner just in case...like Caleb or Joshua.

Have you ever met someone whose name just didn't work for them? I once dated a fairly cute fellow named "Jerry" (no lie, his name was Jerry). He was a great guy but I could never bring myself to say his name out loud for fear it would come out with an attached nasal accent or something (I could hear George Kastansa's mother in my head). I'm mean really, could I take a man named Jerry seriously? If his name had been Matt I might have been more heartbroken when he stopped calling.

Parents name their children based on an ultrasound that says it's a boy or a girl. Names are tossed around for months, sometimes even years (after all what girl who survived her teenage years doesn't have a list of ideal baby names--sometimes complete with the surnames the fit best with based on the crush of the month).

I am VERY traditional when it comes to names. There are those who name their baby something traditional like Lucy but to be unique they spell it "Loosee" just to be different. This is a trend I do not choose to understand or embrace. Then there are names that aren't even names at all, like Diesel or Talon--in my opinion these are things not names.

That is all I have to say.